This Is Not a Personal Statement

This is Not a Personal Statement by Tracy Badua, 2023

Recommended for grades 9 and Up

Realistic Fiction

Brief Review

Overachiever “Perfect Perlie Perez” is about to graduate from the prestigious Monte Verde High at only sixteen years old, and she has big plans for the future that hinge on her academic career at Delmont University. But those plans suddenly fall apart when she doesn’t get accepted to Delmont. Unable to face her parents’ disappointment, Perlie fakes an acceptance letter. By graduation, Perlie’s lies have spiraled out of control. Her new plan is to move onto Delmont University’s campus and pose as a student while she resubmits her application and gets accepted for the spring term. Perlie succeeds in moving into a vacant dorm room without raising her parents suspicions, blending into the incoming freshman student body, and even making some friends. But she struggles to pay for food without a student ID and to get in and out of the dorm without getting caught by campus security or the RA. And her new friends and experiences are leading her to question some of the values that have driven all of her decisions so far. Is academic achievement really the most important thing in life? Does she really want to go to med school, or is it for a good reason that the interactive entertainment major sounds so appealing? Despite the predictability of plot points near the end and some repetitive stream-of-consciousness passages, this novel has an intriguing premise that will keep readers curious and that will offer some validation and comedic relief to anyone struggling with the same pressures Perlie feels.

Longer Review

Perla Perez, better known as Perfect Perlie Perez, is used to being known as an overachiever. For Perlie, graduating from the prestigious Monte Verde High at only sixteen years old isn’t enough; she and her parents have spent years finessing Perlie’s Academic Plan, which specifies that Perlie will go to Delmont University and then med school. Her Filipino American parents and grandparents have sacrificed a lot to get Perlie to where she’s about to be. But that plan suddenly falls apart when Perlie doesn’t get accepted to Delmont. Unable to face her parents’ disappointment, Perlie fakes an acceptance letter. Unfortunately, Perlie’s Academic Plan didn’t involve applying to any safety schools. When graduation comes around, Perlie is still lying to her family and pretending that she’s on her way to Delmont. In the meantime, she has come up with a plan: she’s going to have her parents move her onto Delmont University’s campus and pose as a student while she resubmits her application and gets accepted for the spring term. Inspired by the Albert Einstein quotation, “Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible”, Perlie organizes a seven-part plan to make her Delmont dream a reality in spite of the setback.

At first, things go according to plan. Perlie takes advantage of inattentive move-in volunteers to sneak into a vacant dorm room and she has little trouble blending into the incoming freshman student body. The seven-part plan specifies that Perlie needs to “make a friend, but not a close one”, in order to gather information about the admission criteria and to make her presence on campus less suspicious. Although Monte Verde Perlie was always socially awkward and a bit of a loner, the new Delmont Perla quickly befriends a real Delmont student named Tessa. She also discovers that her high school classmate and academic rival, Camilla Kang-Jansen, is attending Delmont despite having been waitlisted and previously intending to go elsewhere.

Despite her initial success, it isn’t easy hiding in plain sight on a college campus. Perlie has to be very careful about entering and exiting her dorm room, and she has to come up with plausible lies on the spot whenever she crosses paths with the RA. After avoiding a couple close calls, Perlie returns one day to discover that campus security has removed her belongings from the room and removed the tape she uses to keep the door unlocked. And since Perlie told her parents she was given a “generous grants package”, she can’t count on them for much financial help. Within a few weeks, Perlie is sleeping in a storage room and has had to add a credit card and part-time job at a coffee shop to her plan. On the plus side, she has attracted the attention of a cute boy named Brand who invites her to gaming club meetings. And the only person who has figured out her secret is Camilla.

Although Perlie is on track to submit a new application with a stellar personal statement, she gradually comes to question whether Perlie’s Academic Plan is truly her dream or just her parents’ dream. Over a couple months, numerous conversations with Camilla, Tessa, Brand, and her coworker Jackson lead her to question the values and opinions that have driven all of her decisions so far. Is academic achievement really the most important thing in life? Is it actually true that students at “top schools” are superior to community college students, and are doctors superior to coffee shop owners? Does she really want to go to med school, or is it for a good reason that the interactive entertainment major sounds so appealing? Would Camilla have been a friend all along if Perlie hadn’t been so focused on competing with her? The old Perfect Perlie Perez and the new Delmont Perla are two completely different people, but since Delmont Perla is just a lie, who is the real Perla Perez and what does she intend to do next?

Just as Perlie is about to make some difficult decisions, a noise violation brings all of her plans and lies to a sudden end. The conclusion of Perlie’s story is predictable and more realistic than most of the events that led up to it, although it doesn’t follow Perlie far enough to assure the reader that she still has a bright future ahead of her, as I had expected. Some readers may not especially enjoy this book due to the necessity of suspending disbelief in some of Perlie’s misadventures, some clunky phrasing especially near the beginning of the book, and the repetitive nature of the passages focusing on Perlie’s internal monologue. But for readers who are dealing with stress similar to the crushing academic pressure that Perlie faces at the beginning of the book, this novel will offer validation, perspective, and maybe even some comedic relief. And even readers who are just looking for a light read are likely to be engrossed in seeing just how far Perlie manages to take her scheme.